In Another Life
by LavellanInnis
Summary: Lavellan has waited an entire year for news of Solas. There has been nothing save for the original report of "out west". She packs up her things, her companions, and heads out to find him.
1. Chapter 1

It's been a year. An entire year since Corypheus was defeated and Solas, along with the orb, disappeared. Leliana's efforts have proved futile so far, getting no more information other than he was seen to the west in some ruins. Lavellan looks out her window at Skyhold, mentally scanning ruins that could possibly contain some information about Solas.

The Inquisitor was hard-pressed to enjoy the festivities happening all over Thedas. But her heart was broken and there didn't seem to be any way to fix it. She will never stop looking for Solas. She has so many questions unanswered, with new ones coming up everyday. Drawing herself back to the reality of her bedroom, Lavellan heads downstairs to Solas's study, the only place she feels true peace.

The sting of his absence is still there, but much duller than it used to be. The sadness it brought just to be outside the door has been almost replaced by a bitter determination. She is over crying about it. There are too many people out there that depend on her and there are too many things to do.

It's hard to stay out of his study. It still looks exactly the way he left it, the wall unfinished. The paintings on the wall are some of the most intricate, powerful works anyone inside of Skyhold have ever seen. It portrays their journey together from Haven to the end of Corypheus.

Even with no other leads than "he's out west", Lavellan knows she has to do something to find him. She's always been proactive and the past year has gone by slowly, like dragging a stick through mud. She's done enough waiting around. It's time to put her position on hold and pack her things. She already has some companions in mind. She's no fool. Going to look for Solas alone would be suicide and there are people who care for her enough to travel with her.

Varric, Dorian, and Cole are her first picks. Next to her, Cole has suffered the most from Solas's departure. Solas was really the only person who understood him and did not fear him. He protected him and treated him like a friend. Like a person.

Her bag has been packed and ready to go for about two weeks now. The timing just never felt right to her. All that was left to put in her pack was Solas's documents. Leliana had told her that Solas appeared to be someone different than what they all knew him as. She didn't know what, but he had betrayed them all. Lavellan couldn't understand this nor accept it. Not yet. She needed to talk to him herself.

"Vhenan. Lathbora viran, that is where I travel".

The area was swarming with bandits and everyone was on guard. Cole walked slowly behind everyone, his head swam with the thoughts and feelings of those surrounding them. Lavellan wasn't blind. She knew there were people following them even without Cole occasionally stopping to spout out the rage that was in these thugs' minds. 

What she didn't know, however, is specifically who these people were. She knew that she was a huge target for many people. The Inquisitor has many friends and just as many enemies. Their main goal for the day was to cross the hills and reach the ruins on the other side. After about a day's-worth of walking, they'd reached the summit of the hill and were heading down. The ruins were within view.

A branch snapped somewhere from behind them and they all stopped, hands ready on their weapons.

"Be on your guards my friends," Said Dorian.

"White heat. Burning, blistering hatred. The Inquisitor. She did this to us. She must pay," Cole stated.

"That's it. Get behind us Inquisitor." Varric said pointedly.

"I will fight with you, not hide away like a coward. I didn't come this far just to be stopped by some brutes," Growled Lavellan.

A ball of fire shot out from behind the trees and hit the ground directly behind them. They were surrounded as the flames spread and grew into a circle, trapping them.

"Shit," said Varric.

A group of mages came out from the trees. They were accompanied by rouges.  
"Inqusitor."

"What do you want with us?" Lavellan shouted.

"Simply put, we want your life."  
"You'll never!" Exclaimed Cole.

"Oh. We weren't asking demon."

Varric, having had enough, pulled out Bianca and sent an arrow straight for the intruders. The rouges vanished, as if by magic. One appeared inside the circle of fire right in front of Lavellan.  
Her eyes opened wide and she put her staff in front of her, defensive. The rouge smiled. A knife in his right hand swung forward, its intent to strike her throat. Lavellan lifted her arms to block with her staff, but as she did so, another knife appeared and sliced her across her stomach. Blood poured from the wound and she dropped to her knees as the rouge disappeared as quickly as he had arrived. She cried out in paint and she wrapped her arms around her stomach, her mind already growing fuzzy.

"Inqusitor!"

She didn't know who shouted out for her. Her face contorted in pain, all she could do was think about getting out of this ring of fire. The others had managed a few hits and there were bodies on the ground. The others fled, knowing that a blow had been struck on the Inquisitor. She lifted her right arm, panting with the pain of the motion. Blood flowed more freely with the lessened pressure. She closed her eyes as she focused all the energy she had into a spell of ice to squelch the fire. Ice shot from every finger and the fire died down to nothing, ice covering the scorched earth.

A stab of pain shot through her again, the exertion from the spell having torn her cut open wider.  
"We… we have to get to the ruins. It'll be safe there." She whispered.

The corners of her vision became fuzzy and it became hard to breathe. Dorian caught her as she fainted. She could hear Varric shouting something as she slipped away.

Dorian had done all he could to stop the bleeding. His protective barriers were some of the best around, but those were no good to them now. After taking care of the immediate problems with the Inquisitor, he scooped her up and they all ran as fast as they could to get to the ruins by nightfall.  
Once there, the doors were barricaded and Cole was left to start a fire and get the blankets and bandages out for Lavellan.  
"It hurts. Why does it hurt? I can't see anything. It's so hot but I feel so cold."

Varric walked over and said, "Cole. Could you not right now?"

He grabbed the bandages and the healing salves.  
"Forgive me Inquisitor."

He took out a small knife and cut through her leather armor to better get the wound. Her flesh was covered in dried blood and was an angry red around the wound.  
"Shit. This isn't good," Muttered Varric.

"It would seem as if it is becoming infected," Said Dorian.

"She's getting a fever but Cole here says that she feels cold."

"I need help lifting her to wrap the bandage."  
Varric and Dorian gingerly lifted the Inquisitor. She stirred but didn't open her eyes.

"Solas. Solas, where are you?" She murmured.

"She's delirious. Having a fever dream," said Cole.

Varric laid her back down and covered her up with a blanket.  
"There's nothing else we can do right now. Whatever was on that knife, it really did some damage."

Lavellan was in a stupor. She opened her eyes just a little. Her vision was hazy at best. She looked at Cole and saw pale skin.

"Solas? Is that really you?" She asked, her voice shaking.

Varric and Dorian looked at each other and then at Cole.

"You may as well play the part. Humor her," said Varric.

The Inquisitor kept talking though.

"You left. You left and you didn't say goodbye. Why did you do that? You said you'd explain everything to me once Corypheus was gone. But you lied."  
Cole appeared next to her side and grabbed her hand.  
"I had things to do. Things I needed to see."

"But I would have gone with you. I would have gone with you anywhere."

Cole said nothing.

"I'm going to find you. I swear it." Lavellan put a hand softly on Cole's cheek.

"Lie back down, vhenan. You're hurt and you need rest."

The familiar term soothed Lavellan. She closed her eyes and put her head back down on her makeshift pillow.

"Shit, said Varric. "She really thought that was Chuckles huh? I hate to see her disappointment when she wakes up and sees our ugly mugs instead."

"She is peaceful. For now," said Cole.

"Well whatever just happened, we all need our rest."

"I can watch. I don't need sleep," said Cole simply.

Cole disappeared and reappeared on the north end of the ruins, his back to them. Cole didn't need to be looking to sense the presence of others.

"I don't know if I should feel comforted by that or not," retorted Varric.

They made their beds on the other side of the fire. Sleep hit them both like a ton of rocks. Between all the walking, climbing, and fighting they had done that day, it overtook them before either of them could get comfortable.

Gentle footsteps headed towards the warm campfire. Cole turned his head and observed. He sensed no threat.

"Ma sa'lath, what has happened?" The shadow of an elf, long-lost, reached for the sleeping Inquisitor.


	2. Of Sorrow

His skin was browned from his many travels and a scar now graced the top of his right eyebrow. He crouched in front of the Inquisitor and put a cool hand on her burning face.

"Oh Vhenan," breathed Solas.

What has happened here? Who did this to her? So many questions burned at the back of his mind.

_I should have been there. If I were different, if the world was different, I could have stayed with you. I could have protected you. Should have._

The Inquisitor groans quietly in her sleep. There's sweat on her forehead but she's not dangerously warm anymore. There is still fever, but it no longer threatens her. Solas reaches in his bag for something and lays it next to her head. It's a mini statue of a wolf. He faces it away from her in the Dalish tradition. He also grabs a phial with a silvery-purple liquid inside. That, he sets next to Dorian. He'll know what to do with it.

"Mala suledin nadas."

Solas couldn't stay any longer for fear of being discovered. There's one last thing he can do for them. He stands up and moves to the edge of the camp and puts his hands up in front of his torso. He sings softly:

"Melava inan enansal  
ir su araval tu elvaral  
u na emma abelas  
in elgar sa vir mana  
in tu setheneran din emma na

lath sulevin  
lath araval ena  
arla ven tu vir mahvir  
melana 'nehn  
enasal ir sa lethalin"

A calming blue light surrounds his hands and envelops the sleeping warriors.  
_That will keep them from being detected, at least for a time._

Solas turns to leave but ends up face-to-face with Cole. He has something to say to the runaway elf he had considered a friend.


	3. A Scorned Friend

"You left us. We needed you and you left us." Cole wasn't angry. Not yet. Solas burned with the shame of abandoning a spirit who considered him a friend. He's fully aware of what the others said about Cole behind his back. He knows Cole heard it all.

"I'm sorry, Cole. This is my pain to bear. I know you want to help and to heal, but you can't," Solas exclaimed sadly.

"It's not just that," started Cole. "It's the Inquisitor, too. You left her too. You broke her. Cracked and exposed. It hurts. It hurts. But I can't let it hurt. Too many depend… too many."

Solas grimaced at Cole's words. He knows what happened to the Inquisitor after his disappearance. Not only was she dealing with her own problems because of him, but now she has to deal with people who are pointing a finger at her. Because of him. He caused enough issues in Halamshiral just by being near her. An elven apostate. She is one herself, but to be seen with one of no certain importance is suicide in the Game. And for him to leave with no word? People got suspicious.

"She cried," Said Cole plainly.

"I cannot reveal myself to her. My issues are too much for anyone to bear. They are not her problems. I would cause nothing but grief by revealing the truth to her. I almost did once."

Cole started to look angry. He had every right to be.

"How could this happen? This is my fault. There were so many signs. Solas. Corypheus. They're linked somehow. I know it. People are talking. Whispering about me. People leaving. Inquisitor's fault. Inquisitor's fault. Make them stop. Make this all stop."

Cole projected the image of the Inquisitor in her bedroom, crouched on the floor with her hands over her ears.

"Bare face. Dalish a lie. All alone. Who am I?"

"Cole, please," Solas started. But Cole continued on.

Another image of the Inquisitor sitting at a table in the tavern. She's got a hot drink in front of her and her head down. No one is sitting with her. The people around her talk. Some whisper.  
"She had to have known. How could she not?"  
"Never trust an apostate."  
"If they were really doing their job, they would have found him by now and made him pay!"

The Inquisitor looks at the drink in her hands and slowly pushes her chair out to stand up. She looks around. Looks everyone square in the eye that had the audacity to stare, and leaves the tavern.

"Stop. Cole, stop,"

Another image. The Inquisitor in Solas's study. She's running her hand along the unfinished painting of a wolf. The rest of the paintings on the wall are as they were. The wolf will forever remain unpainted.  
"Solas," She says sofly. A single tear rolls down her cheek and she walks away.

"Enough!" Solas cries. "I will not stand here and be made to feel guilty! I've felt enough of that on my own."

Cole disappeared back to his lookout spot, back to Solas. Solas breathed deeply and fished in his pack for a piece of paper. When he was done with it, he placed it in the sleeping Inquisitors hand.

"Ma Vhenan," He said, and then he walked away.

In the morning, the Inquisitor awoke with something crinkled in her palm. She opened up the paper and groggily stared at it, trying to comprehend what it said.

_I'm sorry._


	4. Healing

_It couldn't be._

Where had this note come from? The Inquisitor sat up and held the note in her hands, as if it were something precious that could break with the slightest breath.

_What does this mean? Are we getting close to Solas? Was he here?_

"Inquisitor, I'm glad to see you awake, but you should really lie back down. You could re-open your wounds," said Varric, who was attending a small fire.

"Varric, did you see anything strange last night?"

"Can't say that I did. Dorian and I caught some much needed sleep while Cole kept watch. He says he does need sleep. Creepy right?"

Lavellan made the motion to swing her legs over the edge of the bed but was caught by a sharp pain in her abdomen. She grit her teeth and stayed where she was.

"I woke up with something strange in my hand. Here." She handed the note to Varric. Dorian stood up from where he was, a glass phial with purple liquid in it in his hands.

Varric took the paper and opened it up.

"Shit."

"What is it?" Asked Dorian.

"Take a look yourself," Said Varric, handing over the note.

Dorian read the two words and then looked up at the Inquisitor, something like comprehension on his face.

"Do you know what this means?" started Dorian. "It means that he knows where we are and that we are looking for him. That he knows and yet still refuses to explain. Perhaps he is not meant to be found after all."

Lavellan didn't necessarily like that idea but she knew that Dorian could be right. Solas had vanished after Corypheus's defeat so swiftly and silently. And then to evade Leliana's agents like that…

"That may be so, but I think he still owes us an explanation. Several, in fact. If he knows we are looking for us and refuses to come forth, then perhaps it will be up to us to track him down in a more…forceful manner," the Inquisitor stated.

Varric and Dorian looked at each other and then over to Cole who was still dutifully keeping watch. No one had noticed the small wolf figurine facing away from their camp.

"If that's what it takes," agreed Dorian. "And on another note, this was left by the fire last night as well. I'm sure we can all assume this was also done by Solas. I've taken a close look at it, in hopes of figuring out what it is. I do believe it is meant for you, Inquisitor."

He handed over the silvery-purple liquid and said, "Bottoms up."

"What exactly is this supposed to do?" Asked Lavellan.

"Well, I've come to the conclusion that is a healing tonic of sorts. Although I've never seen one like this before."

"Just one more thing he knew that we didn't," murmured the Inquisitor.

She took the glass and drank it all in one sitting. It burned in her throat and stomach like a small fire. A sudden, sharp pain like a thousand daggers splitting open her stomach sliced across her wound. Lavellan screamed out in pain and clutched her stomach, falling to her knees next to her bed.

"Inquisitor!" Cried Dorian.

Cole appeared next to them and said quietly, "It is fixing her, helping her. It burns white-hot. What is this? What is happening? We must let it work through her system. It will help."

As soon as the Inquisitor's pain had started, it was over. She slowly moved the hand from her stomach and looked up at the others.  
"Look," said Cole.

The Inquisitor brushed aside her ripped tunic and looked at her bandages. The blood on them was gone.  
"By the gods," breathed Varric.

"If…if you could just excuse me," said Lavellan.

She turned quickly and moved to columns at the entrance of the ruins where she could have some privacy. She again moved aside her tunic and took out one of her small daggers. The bandages were white as snow, as if they had never been used. The dagger cut through them easily. They fell to the ground and the Inquisitor gingerly ran a finger over her once life-threatening wound, now only the slightest of a scar in its place.

A tear slid down her cheek.

"Thank you. Mala suledin nadas."


End file.
